Oo-eee what a day.
And I haven’t been at work 15 minutes yet.
Not sure why I woke up grouchy, but everything has irritated
me this morning! On the drive in, people
pulling out in front of me, easing over in my lane, turning in front of
me. You know, because I own the road.
When I got to work, God and I had a little talk, and I do feel better. I'm not angry, just short fused, with no clue why! Being angry or mad is a different story all together.
If something embarrasses me, though, I can’t stand
that. I’ve been known to hold grudges
for that offense for years. Yes, I know
it’s a sin. I try to work on it, but it
is one of the things I have the most difficult time with in my Christian walk,
this thing called unforgiveness. (Actually,
it’s the forgiveness aspect that gives me issues.)
My sister once reminded me of how much we need forgiveness
ourselves, and that does help; but before I know it, and when I least expect
it, there will be a repeat offense or something will trigger a memory, and I’ll
be right back at square one, fighting the urge to give someone a piece of my
mind. (As if I can really afford to lose
any brain cells.)
There are times I have to forgive a person on a daily basis
who has hurt my family. I find myself having
conversations in my head with the perpetrator…things I wish I’d said, things I
want to say…and I have to stop, ask forgiveness, and do my best to put it out
of my mind. It’s not easy to bring
thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ.
If I do something that someone else doesn’t like, when I refuse
to back down because I feel I’m right, but they won’t let it go, that irritates
me. There comes a time when I can just
be pushed too far, and I get irritated. If
I’m not trying to change their mind, I don’t want them trying to change mine.
When I get really mad, one of two things happen: I tell it like it is, or I resort to the
silent treatment. Sometimes, those two
things happen one after the other.
When people intentionally hurt others, I really can’t
understand that! There must be
something not working right in the head of a man or woman who will single out another
individual to humiliate, mock, or purposely hurt their feelings. I’m not talking about violence. That is a completely different case that I
am not covering in this post.
On that same token, though, the word “bullying” is tossed
around too much these days. Just because
someone doesn’t like a comment made to him or her, they are not necessarily
being bullied.
I have a low tolerance for stupidity. I always have, but I believe I have more
patience now than I did in my younger days.
It doesn’t automatically make me angry, but it does make my sarcastic
nature come to the surface. When that happens, once again, I am the one in
need of forgiveness.
Do you find that something that didn’t make you mad
yesterday might burn you up today? I do,
at times.
I have little patience with myself when I deal with the same
thing for the millionth time. But I don’t
normally get mad at myself. I like to
cut me a little slack. Funny how that
works, isn’t it?
So what gets your goose?
Oh wow, you might well have been describing my 'yesterday'! My workday was stresssful, but that's nothing new. What turned the tide was spending almost 2 hours at the DMV waiting to renew my license. Before I knew it, it was like being enveloped in this fog and I couldn't think of a positive thing to say about anyone or anything. At least this morning when I awoke I thanked God that I don't have to work THERE! :)
ReplyDeletePS - Your mention of giving someone a piece of your mind just cracks me up. Thanks for the laugh! :)
Ha..yes, you recognize that I can ill afford to lose brain cells, yes?
DeleteHard to shake those mean girl sites, isn't it? It reminds me of that sentence that used to be popular, "It just doesn't compute." The brain keeps working on it behind the scenes, trying to make pieces fit together in a logical, sense-making, way.
ReplyDeleteShrug. Just ain't no sense to it. Simple as that.
It really doesn't make sense. I mean, if it had happened once or twice, and then they moved on, that's one thing. But it's been going on for years.
DeleteThat's what I call "mad at the world" days! :) I find it easy to cave into overeating on those days because I feel a lack of control over my life/circumstances (like traffic)/emotions. I don't know why overeating seems to meet that lack of control stress, but it does provide an immediate satisfaction. Of course, we all know that it also leads to prolonged dissatisfaction!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE the promise that "He who began a good work in you, will be faithful to complete it".
Thankfully, I didn't fight the urge to overeat, but I'm not sad to be calling this day done. :) I'm am SO thankful that He is faithful.
DeleteThat was good that you took your day to God after you got to work rather than continue on with the mood you had. I do tend to carry a grudge but in my recent grudge/bitterness I had over certain family members, after they passed, I realized what a silly grudge I had carried for so long. It is hard though to forgive, especially if someone has hurt someone we dearly love, but like you said, we do know that God wants us to do so.
ReplyDeletebetty
May I recommend the book:
ReplyDelete"OVERCOMING SINFUL ANGER" How to Master Your Emotions & Bring Peace to your Life
By Rev. T.G. MORROW
The book defines 3 general forms of Anger which are listed below:
1. BLOW-Ups ( the person blows up for one of three reasons: Power & Control, refusing to take responsibility or habit.)
2, PASSIVE-Aggresive ( resentment & opposition to demands of others, complaining about feeling under appreciated or cheated, procrastination, stubbornness, irritability, a cynical or hostile attitude and the silent treatment.
3. PERPETUAL ANGER found in person who cannot find a way to cope with a disappointment & is furious much of the time.
Of course the book is full of Bible Scriptures upon which teachings in book is based.
One of my favorite verses is:
"Be angry but do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. " (EPH 4:26-27)
God Bless & Happier Days,
Victoria
Thanks, Vicki... I am pretty sure the sun has gone down on my anger. haha but I'm not as angry as I sounded in the post.
DeleteI don't think I hold grudges and I think I'm often the peace maker...middle child syndrome perhaps. I do get angry and I do tell people what I think, sometimes I manage to express myself without being nasty, but other times I think to myself........shouldn't have done or said that. Sometimes I think if people could just be as smart as me, do what I do, what a lovely world it would me, lol Obviously, I too have work to do! Made a list of a-z folks who visited and left comments in a blog list in the right sidebar, to make visiting back and forth easier. Naturally you're there. How ya comin with the a-z? I've managed to write and schedule a-h, and visit 5 blogs a day since signing on, but still need to get some more written. The background on your blog, by the way, is breathtakingly breatiful!
ReplyDeleteI have a good start on my A to Z, but probably need to do a lot more work before the first! ARG!
DeleteThat's a really good idea about the blog list in the sidebar. I may just have to do that!